Wednesday, August 26

[PRODUCT REVIEW] The ODOR GLADIATOR - Our Pick For The Winner Of The "No-Smell Peace Prize"

Odor Gladiator - Customized high-performance deodorizer

Words & photos by Laxwell Smart

Laxwell Smart, back with another review for the lax lover in you. This product saved me in more ways than one. If you don't have one of these yet, you don't know what you're missing.

My girlfriend was a nag for a long time and used to always bust my chops about something I forgot to do, or something I did. Sometimes she would even dig in to me about something SHE did, like the time she got mad at me because she said that I let her eat desert. Fellas, you know what I mean, those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations that you find yourself in with your lady friend. Anyway, her nagging really got to me, and it almost cost us our relationship. We would beef constantly and I was always scrambling to get back in her good graces. Half of the time I didn't know why she was going at me so hard, but I happened to notice the reoccurring theme that would arise during our fights was the smell of my lacrosse bag. For a while I thought she just didn't want me to play lax, which would have been a total deal breaker. I was desperate for an answer to our relationship woes, so I broke down and did what any sex-starved, dog-house residing boyfriend would do, I asked her sister for help. Her sister simply suggested I lay low for a while and wash every piece of lacrosse equipment I owned. I tried her advice, but the stench wouldn't go away, and eventually things got so out of hand that one day after playing men's league, the old ball and chain threatened to toss my lax equipment out of a 12 story window on to the street. Another time she actually tried to toss my bag out of a moving car, which she with a straight face said, smelled like dead elephants. Another time I had my lax bag in a closet that she happened to be standing near, when all of a sudden she crinkled her nose and scrunched up her face and said she thought she smelled a vampire. How she knows what vampires smell like is beyond me. Needless to say, it was time for some aromatherapy, so I got a hold of the good folks at ODOR GLADIATOR and made arrangements to test one out. I had plans to travel this summer and play some lax along the way here and there, and thought it would be the perfect opportunity to see the O.G. in action. Ahhh, some much needed time away from all the drama, and some quality time with my lacrosse stick and my new, royal blue and athletic gold "customized high-performance deodorizer." I couldn't wait to rip open the package when the cleverly designed lacrosse-ball-sized Sparta helmet arrived. I popped the disk into the hard case, snapped it closed, zipped up my bag and bid my boo farewell.

The durable casing unit, withstood all my travels and went above and beyond neutralizing the smell of my bag and equipment. My gear now actually smells good. It's been a few weeks since I've been home and I haven't heard a peep about the smell of my bag. The nagging and arguing has slowed down considerably and I think we're in a good space now. Whew. These are a must have for any serious lax player. These days it seems like manufacturers actually consider the funk factor caused by sweat during the shoulder pad, arm pad and glove lining design process, however combating the foul stench caused by playing in the rain is something else. It rained during one of our games and the next day my bag still smelled good. The O.G. works so well, I would consider keeping one in other places, like my bathroom. In fact, I bet if you made a necklace with an Odor Gladiator as a pendant you could scare vampires away.

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